You know it is bad for you... but...

You know when you do something that gives you a very brief buzz, but you know it is bad for you, there will be regret in the long term, but... you just cant help it...

Nutella is my problem... 

I love nutella, no correction - I LOVE nutella

I love to eat it in sandwiches, on toast, on biscuits, but really I would rather eat it straight from the jar.  And not just a small teaspoon worth, I'm talking huge dessert spoons eaten one after another until I am feeling sick with the sweetness.

Afterwards however, I feel guilty... that was my daughters nutella... I've just eaten a whole jar... she wont get any now... that was a BAD thing I just did.

So why didn't I think of that first?  Why oh why was I selfish and thinking only of the nutty, smooth goodness of the nutella and not the consequences of my actions?  How can I explain the thinking behind this?

After much soul searching I've come to the conclusion that I can't.  I just can't help eating the nutella. 

I've tried hiding it or having someone else hide it.  But if I know it is in the house, then I search until I find it.

I've tried only having a spoonful and then putting the jar away, but I then go back to the pantry, again and again, and again, for more.

I've tried telling myself not to, writing notes and reminders that it isn't to be eaten, but when I crave the nutella, the notes are quickly ditched into the bin and the nutella is eaten. 

The answer - no nutella in the house.  I just can't be trusted.  I hate that at the moment I am weak and will eat it. 

So one of my goals at the moment is to recognise my weaknesses, and to remove the temptation from my life.  This includes everything, not just food.  Just until I am stronger, and ready to face these challenges. 

And challenges is what they are.  Challenges are good for us, even though we don't really appreciate them at the time.  We can't grow unless we face these challenges, make ourselves think about how we normally do things, and how we can do them better. 

So, nutella, you are banned from the house, until I am ready...