The last cupcake

It is such a hard decision, do I eat the last cupcake, or do I leave it for someone else?  I mean, do I really NEED the cookie or am I only eating it because it is there?  Do I want that extra food for comfort or the taste of the chocolate, or the extra cm's around my waist?  And if someone else really wants it, I would be upsetting them if I ate it. 

I don't like making choices.

I mean I really really don't like making choices.

I find it hard to balance between what is right, what is good for me and what is good for everyone else.  I become so worried and confused about how my choice would affect my family, my friends, my work, my health (are you getting the picture???) that I become frozen and unable to make a choice. 

My anxiety kicks into overdrive, I then worry because it has taken me so long to make a decision, I worry that who ever is with me is wondering what I am doing.  I worry that I will make a wrong choice and by this stage I have totally forgotten what it was that I wanted in the first place.  I make a snap decision, choosing somthing, anything just so the agony of the choice is over.

Then when I calm down, I realise what I did choose isn't actually what I wanted, and then it is too late to change my mind. 

Lately I have started to try to make choices when I am by myself.  Time, no distractions and a clear head have meant that I am able to look at what is the right choice, what is best for me and others is much easier.  Taking control of my life this way has been so good for me both physically and emotionally.

I have chosen to make something special for my husband and daughters for St Valentines Day

I still don't like making choices, but I seem to making better ones.